Sunday, January 18, 2009

You will be happy to learn that I located the leak on my short-lived inflatable chair, and successfully patched it, though only time will tell if the regal throne will last under the burden of its king. It is too oft tragical that newborn inflatables wheeze and pucker upon their first inflation, leaving their Pee Wee Hermanesque purveyors slouched atop a pile of industrial rubber, a silent tear falling into the squeaky folds of imagined luxury. Nothing but hot air! And even then, the air escapes.

UPDATE: Alas! The ill-fated rare chair of rubber and air is not meant to be; one leak, effectively sealed, means little upon the sprout of another. With due haste I will suppress such seepings of precious gas as completely as possible, but the immediate onset of novel leaks is ominous, to say the least.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

nottuB fo dnE ehT

I can see from my space age statistical information that people keep coming this site by searching Google for "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button ending." What's up with that? Why are people searching for the denouement of a film, whether they have or haven't seen it?

People who have seen the film might be trying to find an explanation, except it isn't a particularly ambiguous ending. Benjamin Button ages in reverse. Guess what happens towards the end of his life. It's more tragical than whimsical. I suppose there is a degree of ambiguity to it-- it's not like we see him as a fetus-- but hey fellas, when you see that hummingbird, you know what happened.

People who have not seen the film, well, why search for the ending? The ending is presumable enough if you know the gist of the story, and if you don't know the story, well hey kid, what's the point?

I HAVE A THEORY! People are Googling the ending because they had to run to the bathroom in film's last minutes; it's a 168 minute movie. Did Benjamin ride off into the sunset on the back of a unicorn? Did he enroll in the army as an infant, partaking in a buddy comedy with, I don't know, Eddie Murphy? This is the place to find out!

Friday, January 09, 2009

Behind the Scenes at The Enchanted Tiki Room

Uncle Walt explains that the space-age parrots are run by secret rooms full of giant bleep-blooping computers. What's not to love?

"I (claim to have) felt a great sense of awe, wonderment, and reverence while sitting in the synthetic, fabricated instant-Polynesian Tiki Room at Disneyland, as I have experienced in some of the great cathedrals… Chartres, Rheims, and Notre Dame… as near to beauty or art as faradic current applied to the vocal chords of Galli-Curci…" - Stanford professor Don Jackson

Saturday, January 03, 2009

Mini Review: Doubt

'Doubt' is a movie rife with stunningly skilled actors demonstrating their prowess (Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Amy Adams, Meryl Streep), and is a strong film, but is ultimately unable to distinguish itself from its theater source; it is merely a play on film, rather than on stage. You almost expect a curtain to draw over the last scene, only to open to the main trio taking a bow, accepting bouquets.

It is worth seeing, but the film will never be remembered as a separate entity from the play.

Amy Adams makes for an adorable nun. Does not everyone have a little crush on her?

Friday, January 02, 2009

peanut butter and jelly

When I was a child, I used to accompany my mother to the grocery store on her weekly trips. It was just something to do, I suppose, and the store never failed to be a fascinating place. But I was not the sort of child to beg for superfluous goodies and sweets; I knew my mother would say no to any whines and protestations, as she always bought the cheapest and healthiest food that was reasonable, not counting the weekly carton of ice cream (bless her soul).

But, of course, I pined for junk food.

I remember seeing the Lunchables--- those mesmerizing, manufactured, bite-sized miniatures of food, circles of ham, crackers delight, perfect postage stamp sized cheese squares--- and always wanting them. They taste like a foreign observer’s idea of what Earth food might be, recreated in a far-off Martian lab, but man, those little snacks looked appealing.

I remembering seeing tubs of Cool Whip, cans of whipped cream, and thinking, blessed he is the man who can spoon Whip straight from the tub that giveth the Whip. Spray cheese had a similar appeal.

I remember, especially, the special jars of peanut butter that contained both peanut butter AND jelly, in a single jar.

I never asked for any of these things because I knew my mother to be too practical. But now, dear reader, at two point three decades of age, I can buy whichever peanut butter I like. I only realized this quite recently.

The call it Smuckers Goober, and it contains peanut butter striped with jelly in a zebra-like pattern. The visual splendor of striped condiments makes up for any lackluster taste. In fact, it would probably taste better to buy the individual condiments, but the gimmick itself, TWO things in ONE jar, is worth the expenditure.

I think it’s a modern marvel.


the end of something.